Chapter 19: Say What's in It

I looked at the cup.

The tea was dark, and a thread of steam rose from it.

It smelled like every night of my life from seventeen to twenty-seven.

"I won't drink it," I said.

"Hedda, sweet girl," Sunniva said.

"I'm going to say something to you, and I want everyone in this hall to hear what I'm doing."

I did not look at Torin.

I could hear his heart, and it was steady, and it was behind me.

I did not look at my father.

I took one step toward the healer.

"Sunniva Hagstrom," I said, at full voice. "Say what is in the tea."

I meant it.

I meant it with ten years of cold stone and a mother's hand on my mouth, and I felt it leave me and go out across the hall.

The whole hall stilled.

Three hundred wolves stopped moving, awake and silent.

The fire stopped crackling, or I stopped hearing it.

Sunniva's smile stayed on her face for a moment.

Then it slid, and her mouth opened of its own accord.

"Stillroot," she said.

It was a flat, shocked voice, and I watched her hear herself speak.

"Stillroot, boiled in salt water, with burnt sugar to hide the bitterness."

"What does it do?" I said.

"It dulls her hearing. It dulls the Voice."

Her hands came up to her mouth and could not reach it.

"Go on."

"It makes her slow and sleepy, and she feels like she's the one who's wrong."

"How long have you given it to me?"

"Ten years. Every night."

"Why?"

"Because Arne couldn't hold the pack," Sunniva said.

The tears came down her face, and she did not wipe them.

"The Voice moved, and he couldn't command a dog. I could see it, and nobody else could."

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