Winter in London Without You novel · Chapter 9 of 24

Chapter 9: Nobody Rescues Anybody

I did the sums in the dark, lying on the narrow bed with the petition on my chest.

Gethin's shift had ended at four.

I had reached the hospital steps at about eight.

At half past one I went down to the kitchen and found him there.

The light was off, and a mug was going cold between his hands.

"You told me you finished at four," I said.

"I did."

"I sat on those steps in the dark, Gethin. You were not passing by."

He didn't look up.

"How long were you there?" I said.

"Since quarter to five."

"Three hours."

"Closer to three and a half. I went for a sandwich at six. I didn't eat it."

I put my hand flat on the table.

"You let me think it was luck," I said. "You sat down next to me and said you only wanted to check I was all right, and I thanked you."

"You did."

"You knew exactly where I'd end up."

"I didn't," he said. "I hoped. It's not the same."

"It's the same to me."

I could hear my own voice shaking.

"Three years of people deciding what I should know. Alistair, his assistant, the clinic. I can't have one more person arranging the world around me and letting me find out later."

"That's fair."

"Nobody rescues anybody," I said. "That was your rule. You were the one who made it, and the first night you broke it."

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