Chapter 33: Ask Me Now

Molly did not speak in the car, and she did not speak in the kitchen.

She stood in the bedroom doorway with her coat still on.

Troy sat on the edge of the bed with his hands hanging between his knees.

"You held them in your pockets," she said at last. "I watched through the window. Your knuckles went white."

"I handed her back."

"You handed her back and you kept your promise to me."

"It doesn't feel like a win."

"It isn't one." She took a step into the room. "I need to ask you something, and I'm asking now."

He looked up.

"At the hospital, the night she was born, I said someday," Molly said. "You said ask me whenever."

"I remember."

"I'm asking. I want a baby, Troy. Ours."

The words sat in the room.

He opened his mouth and she raised a hand.

"Don't say after the hearing."

"Molly..."

"After the wedding, after the club, after the cake. There's always an after." Her voice cracked. "Are you scared of me?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I'm scared they'd have one more person to hold over my head." He rubbed his face.

"I'm scared of what they'll make of her, too."

"That's what they want."

"What?"

"For you to wait." She was crying now, and she did not wipe it.

"Judith wants you to wait. She wants us small and careful and afraid of the next thing."

"I won't. I'm asking you now, because tomorrow someone will take something else."

He stood up.

He crossed the room and took her face in both hands.

"Yes," he said.

"After..."

"Not after. Now."

Her mouth trembled.

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