Chapter 17: Fixed

Nolan opened the door before my second knock.

I had come with the shoebox under my arm and the Captain's wife's folder in my bag.

He read the welfare report standing in the hall.

When he reached the date he stopped, and read it again, and put it down on the table very carefully.

"She wrote it before the orders," he said.

"She knew exactly what I'd do."

"She knew exactly what she'd make you look like."

"The Captain's wife is keeping a copy."

"Good."

He pulled me against him and held me there for a long time, with his chin on my head.

"Say it," I said, into his shirt.

"Say what?"

"What you're thinking."

"That I want to take her whole file and burn it. And that I'm not going to, because you wouldn't let me."

"I wouldn't."

"So I'll hold you instead."

I laughed and pulled back.

"I had a better idea," I said.

I set the shoebox on the table and took off the lid.

My own handwriting looked up at me from a thick deck of envelopes.

"Sit," I said.

He sat on the sofa.

I took out a letter, unfolded it, and straddled his lap.

"Read me one," I said. "Your half. Out loud."

"Hannah."

"Please. I want to hear it in your voice."

He took the page. His hands were not entirely steady.

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