Chapter 14: The Lake

The florist on Marlow Street told him where to look.

She was a stout woman with soil on her apron.

She took one look at the mark on Felix's neck and put down her shears.

"He comes in on Thursdays after the ward," she said. "He cries into the ranunculus and thinks I don't see."

She picked up her shears again.

"Try the reservoir. His mother used to take him to the east dock when he was small."

It was dusk when Felix reached it, an hour out of the city.

The road ended in gravel, and the water was going from silver to grey.

He left the car at the end of the track and walked.

Casper sat at the very end of the dock with his shoes beside him.

His feet hung over the water.

He heard the boards creak and did not turn.

"I asked you not to come," he said.

"I know what you asked."

Felix stopped a pace behind him.

He had practised a speech in the car, a sensible one with the lawyers in it.

Every word of it was gone.

"You left a note," he said. "You folded the veil and left it on the table."

"I'm going to cost you your seat."

"You hid it from me."

"I didn't want you to choose between us."

"You hid it again." Felix's voice cracked, which he hated.

"You hid the heat, and the blockers, and now this. I sat in a chair for six hours thinking you were in a ditch."

Casper put his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say that. I don't want sorry."

"Then what do you want?"

Felix walked around him to face the empty lake.

A heron stood in the shallows among the reeds.

Felix went down on both knees on the cold boards.

Casper dropped his hands.

"Felix. Get up."

"I watched Rowan do this today for his company. I'm doing it for my husband."

Felix took Casper's wrists and held them.

"Come home. Please. I don't want the seat if it costs you.

"I want you in my bed and at my table. I'm begging you, for my mate."

Casper stared down at him.

His mouth opened and shut.

"You're kneeling in a puddle," he said, thickly.

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